Depending on how often you read my blog, you may be aware that for the better part of 4 years I was entangled in a Long Distance Relationship. Now, up until this post I have left my significant other nameless, however for the sake of simplicity, I will give him an alias name, which I have no doubt I will be given flack for by him. Let’s call him, Evan.
So our Long Distance Relationship is now just a regular relationship seeing as Evan moved back permanently to our home town, after he finished a particularly long and gruelling school career. Now, as amazing and wonderful and full of rainbows life is now that we are at last together in the same town, things feel incredibly weird.
I had routines all sorted out, I had budgets set, I had systems that WORKED, and I spent a large portion of my time alone. I have grown accustomed to this, and now that my significant other is now in close proximity, I have found that everything is different.
Somehow, my jobs feel different because I think about them differently. They don’t necessarily define my days the same way they used to, because there is another huge important factor in my day to day life: Him.
Then, when I am not working, I spend time with him, or scrambling to catch up on chores or other work that has slid behind because I have yet to figure out that healthy balance. Everything is in flux, as my father would say, and it is throwing me for a loop. I constantly feel behind on everything, because I now have a new big factor to juggle. I have to form a brand new system for my life, and it is quite honestly making me feel incredibly out of place.
Don’t get me wrong! I am thrilled and loving every moment I get to spend with Evan. When we do activities that we enjoy, we don’t have to sadly resign ourselves to waiting until our next visit to share those moments together. We are apart of one another’s daily lives to whatever degree we want.
It is crazy how the dynamic shifts when your LDR is just a regular relationship. For one thing, you no longer have this heavy weight of oppression over you. You don’t have any horrible thing keeping you apart, or something to prevent you two from working out all of your issues, or trying to schedule as much together time with the person in a small time frame.
It actually occurred today where I was sleepily pulling on my shoes to head out, and Evan asked me if something was wrong. To which I raised an eyebrow confused, and told him that there wasn’t.
He paused, and proceeded to say; “I’m going to have to get used to there not being something wrong.”
I knew exactly what he meant, it seems as though we are infinitely more relaxed around one another because there isn’t the pressure of limited time, or varied life points such as school vs. job. If he happens to go out with his friends for a couple of days, and I can’t join them, I don’t mind at all because I know I can see him whenever I want later. Before it was a huge ordeal, because how could we lose precious time of being in the same proximity? When we talk about future stuff, his sentences no longer start with:
So sure, my life is all topsy turvy, because I have to figure out how to be productive with him around, seeing as his visits before always had me on a kind of ‘vacation mode’. It was where life was paused, and everything was about us being together. Now, we dawdle about our days, knowing that they don’t ever have to end.
So when we reach our maximum comfort levels, I imagine I will be in my own little world working on my blog, while he peruses the latest political articles online without needing to involve the other person.
It is insanely easier to be in a relationship with the person living in the same city, and I know neither of us ever want to go back to long distance again. We made it through, and despite desperately needing to be better organized with our time, we are finding joy in never having to postpone activities or plans together.
We have been through so much, and it is like going from manning a sailboat in a category 3 storm, to a sunny cloudless day with only a gentle breeze. You collapse on the deck, soak up the sun, and try to remind yourself you still have to steer a boat– but for the time being are just grateful that the storm is over.