Release The Kraken

I recently was asked why I was writing this blog, some of my articles seem a lot more like the ramblings of a looney single cat lady.
To which I say, only half of that is true. My man fully knows that my fur-baby is a bright and often annoying star in my life.

I’m writing this blog because for one, I need to polish my writing, and this seems like a fun way of doing it. For another, I wasn’t kidding when I said coming to the conclusion that I am average as heck wasn’t a fun moment. However, that also means that I have more in common with the general public, so I thought there were bonding opportunities somewhere in here!

Well enough chit-chat. Down to the real heart of things.

My cat has decided he will get up in my face when I am eating something that he in fact wants.

This list is inclusive of:

Chips/ Chips with dip
Fish
Salami
Cottage cheese
Chicken
Eggs
Mystery items that fall in the tiny gap  between my cupboard and my fridge.

Most of these I understand because they are proteins, and or the salt I know cats love, but I think it is the boldness of my guy shoving his face into my own, while trying to watch a movie with a snack that gets me. If I don’t throw a chip on the floor, he will wait until I turn my head for literally a second to steal some glorified chips or dip. The first time I made this error he got his whole head in the dip container.
As someone who is resolute that my cat should not be eating off human plates or dining table, this has been quite the journey.

He has gotten crafty to the point where he knows to look as though he wants to cuddle in my lap, then to discreetly, but quickly, grab my lunch.

If only I could be so callous in the job market.

He just got up from his window perch and sat in front of me to stare at me.

I think he even knows when I type about him. He definitely knows when I take a video of him, and in the past figured out how to turn off the webcam on my laptop.

The list goes on about the mischief he gets into…

I have to put elastic bands around my cupboards because he will get into them, and on occasion get stuck, or just lick a bunch of bowls.

He hisses at the vacuum whenever he sees it because he knows it means his tumbleweed hair balls will soon be lost to its power of suction (I know that it’s the sound, not the loss of his local DNA that bothers him).

He will eat my plants, some of which might be bad for him (they were gifts).

He will howl. He lived with a dog for a year of his life, and he picked up a few tricks. If I howl with him, it can go on for a full 5 minutes. My neighbours hate me.

If a dog sits in the window across the road, my cat occasionally hisses at him. What throws me about this is that they will sit and stare at each other for an hour, so my theory is that doggo there was late to their window meeting, and Kraken is b*tching him out. Kraken is a prompt m***********r and will not excuse tardiness.

He has charged me and pulled a tokyo drift of swinging around 180 for cat treats.

The list I feel will forever go on and on.

Especially because I’m hoping that at the latest as of December, to get him a canine fur-baby brother or sister. I am well aware of how this will prove to be a handful. I am tempted to become an at home pet parent with how much these two will make me crazy. (I’m kidding, the bills would smother me in my sleep)

I know I’m a crazy cat lady, and my significant other knows this as well. Though in all fairness I don’t think I could handle having more than one cat. This ONE feline makes me feel overwhelmed at times.

Oh well, second blog entry in under 10 posts that is about my cat.

I think myself, and the general public, will have to learn to be okay with it, as I doubt this will be my last post.

In the meantime, I will try to keep laughing at his antics, and maybe invest in a tiny chip bowl for when we are watching movies together.

 

 

 

 

 

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